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How can our lived experiences help us unpack gender diversity in education? with Slay Way - Episode 6 UNLEARN

In this episode of UNLEARN, I (Milla) sit down with Slay Way, team leader at Rainbow Hub Waikato, to explore how language, lived experiences, and cultural perspectives shape our understanding of gender—and what that means for educators.

Slay shares their personal journey growing up in rural Aotearoa, navigating a world that didn’t always make space for gender diversity. We discuss the power of words, the evolving nature of identity, and the importance of listening to those whose experiences differ from our own. This conversation invites educators to reflect deeply on how schools reinforce (or challenge) binary gender norms and how we can create learning environments that truly foster belonging.

Key themes in this episode:

  • How childhood experiences shape our understanding of gender
  • The role of language—when it liberates and when it limits
  • Why silence on gender diversity is not neutral but upholds the status quo
  • Takatāpui and Indigenous perspectives on gender—what educators can learn
  • The emotional toll of advocacy and why rest is part of resistance

This episode is especially valuable for educators who want to deepen their understanding of gender inclusion and reflect on their own mental models.

Resources that were mentioned in this episode, or could help you dig deeper:

Reflective questions relating to UNLEARN Episode 6:

Listening to lived experience - Reflect on how it felt to hear Slay’s story. Did anything challenge your assumptions about gender, inclusion, or your own experiences? What role does listening play in unlearning?

Centring marginalised voices - Consider whose perspectives shape your understanding of gender in your professional learning and teaching. How can you ensure that takatāpui, trans, and nonbinary voices are included in your learning, rather than relying on assumptions?

Avoiding neutrality - Do you recognise that silence on gender inclusion is not neutral—it upholds the status quo? In what ways might inaction in your classroom or school be reinforcing gender norms? What is one meaningful step you can take to shift this?

Challenging gender norms in schools - If you examine the policies, practices, or unspoken traditions in your school that reinforce binary gender expectations, how might these impact students, and what could you do to challenge or change them?

The role of language in belonging - Reflect on the ways language can both liberate and limit. How does the language you use in your teaching and interactions shape students’ sense of belonging? What’s one shift you could make to ensure all students feel seen?

Here are the same reflective questions for Episode 6 in a printable and shareable PDF format.  

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